❝You need to learn how to select your thoughts just the same way you select your clothes every day. This is a power you can cultivate. If you want to control things in your life so bad, work on the mind. That’s the only thing you should be trying to control.❞
— Elizabeth Gilbert, Eat, Pray, Love
❝The most intriguing people you will encounter in this life are the people who had insights about you, that you didn’t know about yourself.❞
❝You don’t need anyone’s affection or approval in order to be good enough.
When someone rejects or abandons or judges you, it isn’t actually about you. It’s about them and their own insecurities, limitations, and needs, and you don’t have to internalize that. Your worth isn’t contingent upon other people’s acceptance of you — it’s something inherent. You exist, and therefore, you matter.
You’re allowed to voice your thoughts and feelings. You’re allowed to assert your needs and take up space. You’re allowed to hold onto the truth that who you are is exactly enough. And you’re allowed to remove anyone from your life who makes you feel otherwise.❞
❝When life changes to being harder change yourself to being stronger.❞
❝People will want you to behave a certain way, to make a certain choice because it reinforces the way they see the world… But you have to do what’s right for you.❞
❝I never realized what a big deal that was. How amazing it is to find someone who wants to hear about all the things that go on in your head. You just think that things will stay the way they are. You never look up, in a moment that feels like every other moment in your life, and think, Soon this will be over.
But I understand more now. About the way life works.❞
❝But luxury has never appealed to me, I like simple things, books, being alone, or with somebody who understands.❞
❝Rudeness is the weak person’s imitation of strength.❞
❝I don’t broadcast every high & I don’t hide every low. I’m trying to live. I’m not trying to convince the world I have life.❞
❝It’s sort of weird if you think about it. We live in a pretty apathetic age, yet we’re surrounded by an enormous amount of information about other people. If you feel like it, you can easily gather that information about them. Having said that, we still hardly know anything about people.❞
— Haruki Murakami, Colorless Tsukuru Tazaki and His Years of Pilgrimage
❝I love your name. I don’t want to cheat myself out of a single syllable.❞
❝You don’t know anyone at the party, so you don’t want to go. You don’t like cottage cheese, so you haven’t eaten it in years. This is your choice, of course, but don’t kid yourself: it’s also the flinch. Your personality is not set in stone. You may think a morning coffee is the most enjoyable thing in the world, but it’s really just a habit. Thirty days without it, and you would be fine. You think you have a soul mate, but in fact you could have had any number of spouses. You would have evolved differently, but been just as happy.
You can change what you want about yourself at any time. You see yourself as someone who can’t write or play an instrument, who gives in to temptation or makes bad decisions, but that’s really not you. It’s not ingrained. It’s not your personality. Your personality is something else, something deeper than just preferences, and these details on the surface, you can change anytime you like.
If it is useful to do so, you must abandon your identity and start again. Sometimes, it’s the only way.
Set fire to your old self. It’s not needed here. It’s too busy shopping, gossiping about others, and watching days go by and asking why you haven’t gotten as far as you’d like. This old self will die and be forgotten by all but family, and replaced by someone who makes a difference.
Your new self is not like that. Your new self is the Great Chicago Fire—overwhelming, overpowering, and destroying everything that isn’t necessary.❞
— Julien Smith, The Flinch